


A Moment of Doubt

by Revans_Mask



Series: A Moment of... [2]
Category: Tomb Raider & Related Fandoms, Tomb Raider (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Smut, True Love, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 20:12:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12638322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revans_Mask/pseuds/Revans_Mask
Summary: At long last, Lara believes that she's found a way to save Sam from Himiko's possession.  But even if it works, can they make peace with everything that's happened since that fateful trip to Yamatai, or will doubt and secrets prove too much for their relationship to overcome?





	A Moment of Doubt

**Author's Note:**

> So, another author, Fainche, wrote a sequel to my earlier story, A Moment of Peace, called The Reunion We Need. I was tremendously flattered, and I enjoyed reading it, but it also got me thinking about how I would've written Sam and Lara's reunion, with the result being this story. It is not strictly in line with the comics canon, but draws on elements of it like Himiko's possession and the Mirror of Wei. I hope you enjoy all the feels (and the smut too).

“Lady Croft. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

“Likewise,” Lara replied, but in spite of her smile, her mind wasn’t on the smartly dressed, middle-aged administrator sitting in front of her. They were facing one another across Mrs. Elizabeth Covington’s desk, but they might as well have been in the middle of the Sahara for all that the office’s tasteful décor held Lara’s attention. Her thoughts remained stuck on the object resting in her shoulder bag, and more than that, on the woman she had brought it for.

“I assume that you’re here to see Ms. Nishimura.”

The administrator’s careful politeness brought Lara back to the moment. Something she heard in it told her there was going to be a problem. “I am.”

She wasn’t wrong. Mrs. Covington was well-bred enough to keep her discomfort off of her face, but it was there all the same. “I’m sorry, Lady Croft, but that’s not going to be possible.”

Lara’s spine stiffened. “And I’m sorry too, Mrs. Covington, but I’m going to have to insist. I know that in the past, Ms. Nishimura hasn’t always wanted to see me, but I’m the one who’s paying for her treatment, and I need to see her without delay.”

“I’m afraid it is not a matter of Ms. Nishimura’s wishes. After I was informed of your impending arrival, I spoke with her doctors, and they were unanimous in their opinion that she should not receive visitors. Evidently, her delusional episodes have been becoming more severe, and they feel that any outside contact would be ill-advised at present.”

Of course Sam’s condition was getting worse.  Lara had sparred no expense when it came to her care, but there was nothing anyone at the psychiatric hospital could do for her. At first, Lara had hoped that Sam’s odd behavior was “just” post-traumatic stress, the result of the horrible ordeal she’d endured on Yamatai. Certainly, Lara had experienced her fair share of nightmares after they escaped the island; it made sense that Sam was acting strangely.

But what was happening to Sam had proved to be something far darker. Even though Lara had interrupted Mathias’ ritual, some part of Himiko’s spirit had still been transferred, and every day, it took a little more control over Sam.

“I just need a few minutes,” Lara said, trying to hide her desperation. There was no use in trying to explain the truth to this bureaucrat, or anyone else here. They were men and women of science; there was no way they would believe that an immortal queen had possessed their patient and was trying to escape so that she could return to a mythical island. Lara couldn’t blame them; if she hadn’t been there, she wouldn’t believe it either.

“I really do regret this, especially since you came all this way,” Mrs. Covington said. “But even a short visit is out of the question. Especially from you. I didn’t want to have to tell you this, but according to the doctors, even the mention of your name agitates Ms. Nishimura.”

“I see,” Lara said flatly, attempting to control her anguish. _That’s Himiko talking, not Sam. Sam would never feel that way about me. Not even if she knew what I did. I hope._ “Please let me know if anything changes.”

“Of course.”

They stood and exchanged a curt handshake, but what Mrs. Covington couldn’t see as Lara walked out her office was that it wasn’t resignation on her face, but grim determination.   She had failed Sam back on Yamatai. If she had only been a little faster, none of this would be happening, but now, she was going to make it right, no matter what. If Lady Croft, wealthy benefactor, couldn’t get in to see Sam, then Lara Croft, intrepid explorer, would have to do it instead.

***

The hospital did have security, of course. Lara wouldn’t have put Sam in one that didn’t. But to a woman who had spent the last few years infiltrating ancient temples and lost cities filled with deathless guardians, this was nothing. A quick scamper up and over the walls got Lara onto the grounds, and after that, avoiding the patrolling guards was easy enough, especially in the dark.

But it wouldn’t be dark for much longer. Lara’s plan required careful timing; night would conceal her, but once she arrived at Sam’s room, she would need daylight, and quickly. If Himiko woke up before it was time, she would doubtless attack Lara.

Reaching the hospital, Lara clambered up its side, jumping between windowsills and drain pipes toward Sam’s room on the third story. As she ascended, it was hard not to think another time she had undertaken a treacherous climb in a desperate effort to reach Sam. _At least there’s not a storm raging this time_.

The lock on the window was picked easily enough, but Lara hesitated before opening it. It had required months of research to learn about the object in her shoulder pack, and a perilous journey to retrieve it, but she still didn’t know if it would actually work. She would do anything for Sam, but what if there was nothing to be done? What if…

Lara took a deep breath, trying to make her heart stop pounding quite so hard. Whatever the truth, she wouldn’t learn it hanging from a ledge, and if her adventures had taught her anything, it was the fear would destroy you if you let it. Her hands shook as she opened the window, and her breath caught in her throat as she rolled through the opening, but she made herself do those things anyway.

When she rose from her crouch, she found herself standing in a seemingly ordinary, if pleasant, room. Lara’s money might not have been able to purchase a cure for Sam, but it had bought her a little comfort. Instead of the bleak sterility of many mental hospitals, real wooden furniture filled the ample space, fresh flowers sat in a vase on the table, and the window Lara had snuck in through offered a view of an lovely garden below. Lara had insisted on that last point when she picked out the room; Sam had always loved a good view.

Her former lover lay in the large bed at the room’s center, and in that moment, she too created the illusion of normalcy. Asleep, there was no way to tell that her mind had been usurped; she looked just as she had on so many mornings when Lara had awakened by her side: peaceful and lovely enough to make Lara’s heart melt.

Lara crept toward the bed on soft feet, sliding her bag off of her shoulder as she approached. She unzipped it slowly, trying to make as little sound as possible. Inside lay an ornate stone disk and she took it out, turning it over carefully in her hands. Everything was ready, but she had to wait for sunlight, and as she stood there in the dark, doubt mounted another assault.

 _What if this fails?_ _The Mirror of Wei is supposed to expel possessing entities, but this isn’t science. It’s magic, and myth, and just because you desperately want it to be real, that doesn’t mean it is. You may have come all this way just to let Sam down again._

She could have driven herself half mad, but mercifully, it wasn’t much longer before the first rays of sunlight crept through Sam’s window. Once they made their way far enough across the floor, Lara took the last few steps toward the bed, but in spite of her best efforts, she wasn’t sufficiently quiet. As she stood over the bed, the eyes of its occupant snapped open, the rage in them showing instantly that the woman Lara loved wasn’t in control.

“Lara Croft!” Himiko snarled. Her voice was painfully close to Sam’s, and the nearness of the miss temporarily paralyzed Lara. She starred in horror as Himiko sat up, twisting her host’s beautiful face into a cruel sneer. “Why have you come here? It’s over. Your friend is mine.”

The words cut deep, but Lara still found her bearings. “Not for long,” she whispered, and she raised the mirror up so that it could catch the sunlight.

Himiko didn’t wait for Lara to focus the light. She sprang from the bed, her fingers pointed straight at Lara’s eyes. Lara bent backwards, but a nail still raked her cheek. She ducked underneath the second swing of Himiko’s hand, and when she found her balance, she’d pushed past the last of her shock as well.

_Forgive me, Sam._

She shifted the mirror to one hand and with the other, she struck Himiko in the throat. The dead queen gasped for air and her hands automatically clutched at the vulnerable flesh. Before she could move them, Lara slammed a palm into her chest, pushing her down onto the bed. Himiko grabbed at her arm, but all of that time spent hanging by her fingertips had made Lara’s grip formidable. For a few crucial seconds, she was able to hold Himiko down as she raised the mirror into the path of the rising sun.

As soon as the sun hit it, a brilliant white glow filled the room, splashing onto Himiko’s face. There was only one problem: it couldn’t enter her eyes. Maybe the dead queen realized her peril, or maybe she only guessed at it, but either way, they were screwed shut and there was nothing Lara could do, not with one hand holding the mirror and the other pinning Himiko. Unless…

“Sam,” Lara pleaded, “If you’re in there, if you can hear me, I need you to open your eyes.”

“The traitor is gone,” Himiko hissed as her nails dug into Lara’s wrist, trying to break free. “It’s just me now.”

But Lara paid neither her words nor the pain any mind. “I know how strong she is, Sam. But you can fight her. Just for a moment. Please.”

Himiko’s face contorted once again, but now it wasn’t rage Lara saw there, but fear. The body beneath her tensed and then, a millimeter at a time, the lids of her eyes crept open.

The flare when the light struck them was so bright that Lara had to squeeze her own eyes shut, leaving her blind as a primal scream filled the room. _It’s not Sam who’s in pain,_ she told herself. _It’s Himiko._

Finally, the anguished cries died down and Lara blinked a few times until she could see once more. Himiko had slumped down on the bed, now still, but Lara had a new problem. The door to the room flew open and a burly orderly crashed through it. He took one look at Lara standing over a limp body and screamed, “Stop! What the bloody hell is going on here?!”

Lara could no more explain to this man what she was doing than she could have to Mrs. Covington. _So what should I do?_ Her hand dropped automatically to the taser on her hip, but she didn’t really want to electrocute this man for doing his job. Instead, she raised her hands slowly and stalled. “Don’t worry, I’m a friend of Sam’s. I’m just here to visit her.”

“Yes, well, visiting hours were over a long time ago. And if you’re her friend, why did she just scream like that?” He took a walkie-talkie off of his belt and prepared to speak into it, but before he could, another voice interrupted.

The woman laying in the bed sounded weak, but it didn’t matter. Lara’s heart unclenched at last when she heard Sam, her Sam, not Himiko say, “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

***

“Well, here we are.”

“Yup,” Sam agreed cheerfully. “Good old Croft Manor. You know, for a while, I thought they were never going to let me out of there.”

Sam closed the thick, wooden door behind them and dropped her bag, flashing Lara a brilliant smile as she did. It truly was her; Lara knew that much for sure. Himiko might have been inside Sam’s skin, but she could never properly imitate her smile.

“I can scarcely blame them,” Lara told her. “They had no idea how you experienced such a remarkable recovery.”

“They wouldn’t have understood, even if we told them the truth,” Sam said. “I know my mom didn’t.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Lara said, wincing internally. She’d only heard one side of that phone conversation, but it was clear the only thing Sam’s mother liked about the current situation was the fact that her daughter had recovered. She blamed Lara for what had gone wrong, and wanted Sam to stay with her instead. Lara could understand the sentiment; after all, Trinity was still out there, and there was no guarantee that Croft Manor, or anywhere else she went would be safe. Sam hadn’t cared about any of it. She’d made up her mind: she was going with Lara and that was that.

“Don’t worry about it,” Sam told her. “I’ll square things with her eventually, but right now, I just want to be here with you.” She stepped closer, putting a hand on Lara’s shoulder. The skin there was bare except for the thin strap of Lara’s tank top, and the touch raised goose bumps. From excitement, but also unease. She had missed Sam so desperately, and yet now she couldn’t seem to enjoy being with her. Not the way she used to.

“You are,” Lara said, trying cover her discomfort. “So, um, I guess we should get you your things put away.”

“I guess so.” Sam raised a suggestive eyebrow. “And where do you think I they should go?”

 _Oh._ Lara swallowed hard. “Did you mean in my room? I didn’t want to presume. It’s been such a long time, and we didn’t really talk about it.”

“I know that,” Sam put her arms about Lara, pressing her face against Lara’s shoulder. “I know that it’s complicated. But being near you makes me feel safe. So, if it’s not a problem...”

Lara reciprocated, hugging Sam close. She was all mixed up inside, but having Sam’s body pressed against hers felt so good that she couldn’t object. “Okay, then. My room it is.”

“Great.”

Slipping away from Lara, Sam picked up her bags back and made for the stairs. She’d known the way to Lara’s room for years, and now she headed straight there, leaving Lara little choice but to follow.

She should have been happy. The mirror had worked, Sam was here with her, and everything was falling right back into place. And yet, that queasy feeling in Lara’s gut wouldn’t go away. When they arrived, Sam tossed her bag down on the bedroom floor, and grinned at Lara, but the expression didn’t have its usual effect. So many times before, that look had made Lara want to grab Sam and kiss her until they were both gasping for breath, but now, she couldn’t do anything but swallow hard.

Sam didn’t have the same problem. She eyed Lara hungrily, circling around before settling in behind her. Lara felt Sam’s face nuzzle against her hair, even while nimble fingers began playing with the hem of her tank top.

“Wait…” she muttered, fighting against her body’s urge to just go with this. “Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Sam purred. Her fingers splayed over the muscles of Lara’s abdomen, while her other hand pushed back Lara’s hair. Any further protests Lara might have summoned died when teeth skimmed over the soft skin of her ear. Sam knew all the ways she liked to be touched, and yet the time that had passed gave this the thrill of new passion as well.

Sam was nudging her toward the four poster bed, and Lara stumbled along, unable to do anything but comply. Her knees grew weak as Sam’s fingers worked their way beneath the hem of her pants, teasing the sensitive skin of her hip. The contact was broken temporarily when Lara fell face-first onto the bed, but not for long. Sam followed swiftly, rolling Lara onto her back before taking hold of her tank top and yanking it up.

Beneath, Lara wore a plain, white bra, but Sam didn’t bother with that yet. Instead, she focused on the skin that had already been revealed. Her eagerness was evident if everything, not only the way she caressed Lara, but in her wide eyes, starring as if this was their first time. She paused just long enough to strip off her own shirt, but then she was back at it, her tongue running eagerly across the muscles of Lara’s abdomen.

The wet sensations left Lara gasping, but when Sam undid the top button of her pants and began sliding them off, she finally made herself interrupt. “Sam, wait,” she panted.

Sam looked up at her, her eyes dark with hunger. “I don’t want to, Lara. I want you. Now.”

Lara bit down hard on her bottom lip. She wanted Sam to keep going. Dear god how she wanted that. Every smile, every touch, everything they were doing reminded her how much she’d missed this. But she couldn’t have it.  No matter how desperately she wanted to give Sam what she needed, she couldn't.  Not like this.  Not when it would be based on a lie.

And yet she couldn’t make herself say the truth either. Sam didn’t need to hear that. Not today, not when she’d just gotten her life, her very soul, back. “I just think we should wait a little longer. After all that happened to you, it’s too soon.”

Somehow, Sam managed to sound as desperate as Lara felt. “I know what happened to me. It was one nightmare after another, and I thought they would never end. But then you woke me up.   You’re my hero, Lara, and I need to show you how much I appreciate you.”

The adoration in Sam’s eyes was too much for Lara. She looked away, unable to see it there while her guilt was digging ever deeper into her stomach. “I’m not who you think I am, Sam,” she said softly. “I’m no hero.”

“How can you say that?” Sam reached up and grabbed Lara’s head, pulling her into a kiss. They had shared a few soft, gentle ones at the hospital, but not something like this, hot, and deep and passionate. It should have been heaven, but the bliss slipped away every time Lara tried to hold onto it.

“Because it’s true,” she said, her eyes squeezing shut even as burning tears began to run down her cheeks. “I was too late on Yamatai. And I…”

She felt the warm brush of Sam’s hand against her cheek. “Lara, what is it? Please, tell me.”

“There was someone else,” she blurted out before she could stop herself. “When you were sick. It was one of the Remnant, a girl named Sofia. I’m so sorry. We’d been through all of these terrible things together, and it felt right at the time, but now you’re here again and I feel like I’m the worst person in the world…”

She had no idea how long she might have kept rambling if Sam hadn’t taken hold of her face, drawing them closer. “It’s okay.” Slowly, Lara opened her eyes and when she did, there was no anger on Sam’s face, only love and compassion. “From what you told me, Siberia was the same kind of hell as Yamatai. I get that you needed someone to comfort you after that.”

Lara’s mouth dropped open, and she starred at Sam in utter disbelief. “Sam, how can you just forgive me like that? You were sick, and I betrayed you.”

“No, you didn’t.” Sam was emphatic, not making an argument as much as stating a fact. “I was more than sick, Lara. My body was there, but I was gone. You couldn’t betray me, because we weren’t together. We couldn’t be. There’s nothing to forgive.”

“Sam, I, I don’t know what to say.”

“Just say it’s me you want now.”

“It is,” Lara told her, without doubt or hesitation. “Sam, it always was. I love you. I just didn’t know if you’d ever be you again.”

“Neither did I. But I am now.”

She gave one of those brilliant smiles that only she could offer, and Lara smiled back. “Yes, you are.”

“And now that I am, I want you back, Lara Croft. I want it more than anything in this world, and since it sounds like you feel the same way, what do you say we stop worrying and pick up where we left off?”

Lara brushed away the last of her tears. A fierce joy was growing inside her, filling the space her receding guilt had left empty. “I say, Samantha Nishimura, that is the best idea I’ve heard in a bloody long time.”

Sam leaned in for another kiss, and this time Lara was eager to oblige her. Sam’s tongue brushed against her bottom lip, and Lara eased into the kiss further, letting it open up. She could taste the heat of Sam’s passion, but it didn’t feel as desperate anymore. They both still needed this, but now they could enjoy it fully as well. Lara’s fingers ran down the bare skin of Sam’s back, and when they reached the clasp of her bra, she unhooked it.  

“ _Now_ you’re eager,” Sam said playfully, pulling back from the kiss just far enough to take her bra the rest of the way off.

Lara could feel herself blushing, but without real discomfort. Sam had always liked teasing her; the joke was one more reminder that the woman she loved was really back. “I missed you.”

Sam cupped her own breasts and laughed. “And did you miss these too?”

Lara couldn’t help but chuckle. “Oh, yes.”

“Well, I missed yours too.” Sam reached down and undid the clasp at the front of Lara’s bra, and once it was off, she wasted no time running her hands over the soft skin beneath.

Lara moaned, her head tipping back as she gave herself over to the feelings. Sam circled her nipples slowly with her thumbs while bending down to plant hot kisses on her collarbone.

“Oh, Sam,” Lara murmured, stroking her lover’s bare back gently. “That’s it. That’s just right.”

“Yes, it is.”

Sam slid back up to kiss Lara once more. This one drew out even longer than the last, giving Lara an opportunity to cup Sam’s full breasts as it went on. She stroked them tenderly, almost reverently. Everything they did together was a gift she intended to savor.

Of course, Sam didn’t seem willing to savor for too long. Even while Lara was still gasping from the kiss, Sam’s hands were back at the top of her jeans. Now, Lara had no desire to stop her. Sam pulled, and Lara shimmied, anxious to help get them off.

Once they were, Sam looked her toned legs up and down. “Wow!”

Lara had to smile. “I guess climbing through ruins has been pretty good exercise.”

“I’ll say so.”

Sam’s fingers ran up Lara’s leg, creeping toward the place on her inner thigh where it met her underwear. Lara bit down on the inside of her cheek as they arrived. There was already a dark spot on the center of her white panties, and Sam went straight for it. Her fingers stroked Lara’s clothed sex with practiced skill, and Lara’s whole body began to quiver. This felt _so_ good, and a part of her wanted to lay back and just enjoy it.

But not this time. “Hold on,” she said, barely able to get the words out through her desire.

Sam looked up into her eyes, confused. “Is something else wrong?”

“No. You’re marvelous. It’s just, this time, I want us to do it together.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Sam quickly unfastened her own pants, and when she pulled them off, her underwear came along with them. Her sex glistened beneath a small patch of dark hair, and Lara couldn’t resist. She ran a hand between Sam’s inner thighs, smiling when her fingers made contact with the slick folds at their juncture.

At her touch, Sam’s mouth fell open, and when Lara found the stiff point of her clit, a high-pitched whine slipped out. Sam melted into her arms, but slowly, careful not to break the contact between them. With her free hand, Lara cupped the back of Sam’s head, guiding them together for another kiss even while she kept stroking her lover.

That alone, touching Sam, feeling the way her body shook with pleasure, would have been enough to make Lara happy. But that didn’t mean she would turn down more, and soon enough, Sam’s fingers slipped beneath Lara’s underwear, searching out her clit. Lara’s grip on Sam tightened when it was found, and her fingers pressed down a little harder.

They kissed again and again, their mouths capturing each other’s cries as they caressed one another. This was about more than just bodily pleasure though. A warmth filled Lara’s heart as they made love, an unbounded happiness that she could scarcely believe was real.

Still, the physical parts were pretty wonderful too. Lara moaned as the fingers on her clit slid down to press against her entrance. She was absolutely soaked, the digits pushing into her with a wonderful, slick ease. “Oh God, Sam,” she whimpered, “Oh God.” Having Sam fill her again, after all this time, was everything; everything she wanted, everything she craved.

Sam’s breath was sharp and shallow. “Lara, I need you in me too.”

Lara hastened to dip her fingers inside, and when they curled upward, she was rewarded by a needy squeeze of Sam’s inner muscles. Sam had lost the ability to form any more words, but the wide-eyed expression on her face said everything that was needed. The two of them clung hard to one another as they began moving again, clits grinding against hands and fingers thrusting deep as they claimed one another and were claimed in return.

Their faces, though, remained nearly still, only inches apart, the two lovers starting at one another in amazement.  As Lara came apart, the look of ecstasy in Sam’s eyes made everything so much more intense. She couldn’t tell who tipped over first, and they were both too deep in their pleasure to care. All Lara could feel was the bliss running through her body, and a love powerful enough to overwhelm everything else.

Everything but Sam. Even through the tremors of her own climax, Lara was acutely aware of her lover pulsing around her fingers, of her back arching in ecstasy, and most of all, of her face, contorted with pleasure. The sight pushed Lara even higher, making her shake and throb until the intensity of it was almost painful. Only when both of them were spent and panting did they stop moving, and even then, Lara didn’t withdraw her hand. The feeling of touching Sam in the most intimate of ways was too dear to give up for now.

Not for Sam, though. Lara had always been amazed by how fast her lover could go from a writhing, orgasmic mess to a playful tease. She pulled her fingers out, and before Lara could miss being filled by them, Sam brought the digits up to her mouth, sucking suggestively. Lara drew in a breath at the sight, and Sam laughed. “Another thing I missed. And one I plan on getting a lot more of very soon.”

Lara responded by stroking Sam’s inner walls, and Sam gasped. That incredible smile was plastered all across her face, banishing a little more of the darkness that had crept into Lara’s life every time she saw it. “Whatever you want.”

“Like I said, I want _you_. I love you, Lara. Always will.”

“Always, Sam.”

Fresh tears were building inside Lara, but they were happy ones, washing away the pain of the past. She eased out of Sam, but only so they could fit more easily into each other’s embrace. Sam’s head tucked down against her collarbone, and Lara’s arms wrapped tightly around her lover. For the first time in what felt like forever, she felt a genuine calm in her soul. Her encounter with Sofia had brought her a kind of peace, but this was more profound. _This_ was where she belonged.


End file.
